Agencies Have Boundaries Too: Building Memories While Respecting Rules

As summer fades and school is in full swing, I know foster families are already gearing up for the holiday season. It’s a magical time filled with family traditions, fun vacations, and cherished memories. However, as we prepare for the hustle and bustle of the holidays, it’s essential to remember that agencies have boundaries too. These rules are in place to protect foster youth and help families navigate the foster care experience with respect and care.

Here’s a guide to navigating some common questions and scenarios during the holiday season while keeping boundaries in mind:

Moral of the story: Agencies have to set boundaries too.

1. Capture the Memories, But Respect the Rules

The holidays are a time for creating lasting memories, and taking family photos is a wonderful way to do that. However, when it comes to foster youth, privacy is key.

• Can I post pictures of my foster youth on social media? Unfortunately, no. While I love seeing families making memories together, publicly sharing photos of foster youth is prohibited. This rule protects their safety and privacy.

• What can I do instead? Take all the family pictures you want, but avoid including the foster youth in public posts. You can capture holiday moments with everyone and use creative solutions, like:

- Taking pictures that focus on hands or backs instead of faces.

- Using fun stickers or emojis to cover their faces in group photos.

- Keeping the photos private for your family album.

2. Make the Holidays Inclusive

The holidays are a perfect time to include your foster youth in family activities and traditions. They may have never experienced certain celebrations, and this is your chance to make them feel welcome and loved.

• Can we request respite care during the holidays so we can take a vacation? I highly encourage families to avoid requesting respite care during the holiday season. This time of year can be especially difficult for foster youth, as they navigate feelings of separation and loss. Including them in your holiday plans can help foster a sense of belonging and stability.

• What’s the alternative? Plan activities that involve the entire family, including your foster youth. Whether it’s a holiday dinner, a cozy movie night, or a family vacation, these shared experiences can create memories that last a lifetime.

  
  

3. Training is Non-Negotiable

I understand that the holidays are a busy time, and travel plans can disrupt schedules. However, training is a critical part of being a foster parent, and skipping it is not an option.

• Can I skip training because I’m out of town? No, training is a requirement for maintaining your role as a foster parent. It equips you with the tools to better support your foster youth, especially during challenging times like the holidays.

• What can I do instead? Plan ahead and schedule training sessions around your travel plans. If you’re unable to attend in-person sessions, ask your agency about online or alternative options.

  
  

4. Respect Their Belongings

The holidays often bring new gifts, clothes, and toys for foster youth, which can lead to the temptation to declutter. However, it’s important to remember that their belongings may hold emotional significance.

• Can I throw away their old belongings because they got new stuff? No, not without their consent. Even if something seems worn or unnecessary to you, it may carry sentimental value for them.

- A tattered stuffed animal might remind them of home.

- An old hoodie might be the last thing they received from a loved one.

• What’s the solution? Involve them in the process. Ask if they’d like to donate or store items they no longer need. This gives them control over their belongings and shows respect for their feelings.

  
  

5. Why These Boundaries Matter

Foster care agencies aren’t trying to make your life harder with these rules—they’re here to protect the children in your care and ensure a positive experience for everyone involved. Boundaries help foster youth feel safe, respected, and valued, especially during the emotionally charged holiday season.

By respecting these guidelines, you’re not just following rules; you’re setting the stage for meaningful connections, cherished memories, and a holiday season that your foster youth will remember for all the right reasons.

6. Creating a Supportive Environment

It’s essential to create a nurturing atmosphere during the holidays. This can be achieved by engaging in open conversations with your foster youth. Ask them about their feelings and experiences. This not only helps them feel valued but also strengthens your bond.

• How can I encourage open communication? Set aside time to talk with your foster youth. Listen actively to their thoughts and feelings. This will help them feel heard and understood.

• What activities can promote bonding? Consider engaging in activities that foster teamwork and collaboration. Cooking together, decorating the house, or even crafting holiday gifts can be wonderful ways to build connections.

  
  

7. Emphasizing the Spirit of Giving

The holiday season is a time of giving. It’s a great opportunity to teach your foster youth about generosity and kindness. Involve them in community service or charitable activities. This not only helps others but also instills a sense of purpose and belonging.

• What are some ways to give back? Volunteer at a local shelter, organize a food drive, or participate in community events. These activities can create a sense of unity and shared purpose.

• How can we make it fun? Turn volunteering into a fun family outing. Make it a tradition to give back during the holidays, and your foster youth will cherish these moments.

  
  

Conclusion: A Season of Inclusion and Joy

Let’s make this holiday season one of inclusion, respect, and joy for all families—foster and forever alike! By embracing these guidelines and fostering a supportive environment, we can create lasting memories that resonate with love and warmth.

Warm regards,

The ALIGN Team